Friendships between women are part of their identity, sense of community and place among the society. Women tend to invest much time, energy, emotional and physical nurturing and maintaining friendships, so when a close relationship suddenly ceases, there is little to prepare them for the fallen and injured that is attached to this loss. Regardless of why it crashed, one of the hardest things is to accept the decision and pursue ones life.
Its common for a friendship that seems close to collapse suddenly due to poor communication, a stray comment out of context or changes in priorities due to life changes. Very often, the silence and distance extends to both sides are comfortable to deal away, feeling his things too late to try to patch up.
Be in this situation, you may experience a number of thoughts which
• Being confused about what happened
• You feel guilty with questions like “Why me?” Or defensive statements such as “It’s not fair”
• The feeling of insecurity “I’ll never find another friend like them again.” “I am a bad friend – No one will ever be friends with me.”
• Repetitive thoughts or reliving past conversations
• Pre-occupation on the small insignificant details or
If you find yourself in this position, try some of these approaches.
Trust your instincts. Women in particular are refined in social contexts and know instantly if there is a disturbance in the “force happy.” In fact, it is never “too late” – make a kind of touch and test the waters. Confidence that what you feel, your friend may be facing and that perhaps they are unsure of what or how to get to you.
Address the situation with kindness. Be kind to yourself, those around you and your friend away. Act and speak of anger and hurt can lead to things being said that you might regret later. Keep your grace and approach any situation involving your friends with the highest ethical standards, you can manage. You are more likely to attract attention and negative perceptions, if you surround yourself with a responsible approach or angry when someone mentions your name to friends. If you can not manage a positive approach, remain neutral until you can react more positively. Resist the temptation to bad mouth your friend. Be gentle with yourself and those around you.
Let yourself be emotional. A close friendship boasts a large part of your life and when he is suddenly stopped or torn, it is still to have those heart broken. Like any major emotional loss, you must allow time to mourn and come to terms with what happened. Part of overcoming grief is given permission to be emotional, cry and rant about what happened.
Develop routines. A close friendship is often linked to the daily routine. If this friendship now be more, it is important to refocus the routines rather than allow them to flounder or pave the way for depression. Develop new or different routines in your life that can allow you to connect with another group of people on a daily basis.
Talk – verbal or nonverbal. It may not be possible to talk to your friend, but its important that your feelings and unspoken thoughts are conveyed. Start a private journal or write a letter that will never be sent. You can include fond memories or underline certain acts or events that led to the break. This can be a forum to ask for forgiveness or asking them to seek forgiveness for you. State terms – no matter how ridiculous – in which you accept the friendship back. You can choose to keep these thoughts in writing, or in a symbolic act of liberation – burn all the sheaf of papers.
Relaxation. Indulge in a long bath, afternoon spent reading, soaking in the pool, a massage or do yoga. Take time just for you and let the repressed strain, stress and grief to escape from your body.
Celebrate the good times. Make a list, a scrap book, a collection of photographs or stories focusing on the positive aspects of friendship and fun. Allow yourself to smile and then let you say goodbye to this chapter in your life.